Greetings! I pray everyone is having an awesome day! Today’s topic is one that is very dear to my heart. It’s a subject that so many of us women fall prey to. This particular article will be written with women in mind, however I’m positive that men will gain much from it as well. In fact I encourage men to read it. It will offer great insight into the inner workings of our minds regarding this issue.
With no further delay, let’s dive on in! Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. I love each and every one of you. Lord knows I do! But it is truly time out for chasing these men!
I’m not referring to the idea of maturely showing interest in a guy. There is such a thing as intentional availability. This is the act in which a woman makes herself available to getting to know a man she finds herself interested in. This can be in the form of her seeking conversation with him, attending events in which you share common interests, etc. You’re basically letting the guy know you are available and interested in getting to know him. Even in this there is a fine line, but that’s a whole different blog post. I want to first focus on what chasing and pursuing a guy looks like and why it is a big “No No” in my opinion.
First things first. If you are a Godly woman who truly understands her worth, there is no way you should feel the need to remove your crown to chase any man. Sweetie, you are likened to that of a ruby! You are rare, unique, beautiful, radiant, and gorgeous. You are funny! You are fabulous! When you enter the room the whole atmosphere should change. Your light demands to be seen. Your grace seeks to be respected. You are special. And you are so, because God said so. So your walk, your stance, your poise and your faith should reflect that.
Don’t you know that you are worthy of being pursued love? You are worthy of being chosen. You are worthy of adoration, respect and admiration. Rubies don’t beg to be seen. Their presence, their radiance, their beauty and the God within them does the drawing.
If you find that you are the only one initiating every conversation, every encounter, and when you fail to do so, he does not pursue, then that may not be God’s choice. The Godly man that is meant for you will have no problem pursuing you. And when I say pursue, I’m referring to when a man makes his interest known and actively does things to show his interest. It does not mean he chases after a woman. I am not a fan of women making men jump through hoops and all that drama. But that is another blog post altogether. But ladies if you choose to go that route, just be prepared for things to possibly backfire on you.
The man God has for you will understand that rare, unique and great finds like you don’t come around every day. He will recognize you as his good thing. And he will be compelled to learn more about you. He will have no problem initiating conversation with you or doing things that allow him to be in your company. It will involve both individuals communicating with one another and expressing the desire to learn more about the other.
The ONE will not be passive about coming for you. In fact he will be so in tune with God that he won’t be able to deny his attraction to you. It will be so because in you he will see all that he prayed for. He will also find the things God revealed he needed. Pride, Fear, nor any emotion or circumstance will be able to stand in his way when he sees you. You are his ONE out of a possibility of billions. Your smile, your gaze, your laugh, your scent, and most importantly your relationship with God will be constantly on his mind and within his thoughts.
The one God sends will not be content with only texting or sending you emails. He won’t allow you to settle for trying to decipher his thoughts. He will make an effort to call and initiate interaction with you He will make it plain how he feels, because you are special to him.
So ladies, if you are constantly confused about what is going on and how he feels, he may just not be interested. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s so easy to get so caught up in our emotions, our thoughts and our attraction, that we fail to see the signs. But I promise you, if you look closely, they are there.
You are worth too much to feel the need to force someone to see how great you are. To feel like you have to always be in their face in order that they not forget that there is one who is trying so hard to get to know them. You should not be sitting around hoping and praying that the guy you are into will one day, after months and years decide that he actually likes you and wants to finally get to know you. That may never happen.
You deserve someone that gazes into your loving eyes, and says, “I choose you, you are MY One. The one God saved for me.” You are worth someone taking the time to surprise you with your favorite latte, because they took the time to study you and wanted to bless you in a way that spoke to you. Okay so I added that latte part for me! Ha! But seriously ladies, you are worth that. You have to know that you know that you are. And NO, you won’t have to convince him to see how beautiful your heart is. You won’t have to jump through hoops, play guessing games or wait around until he figures out if he wants you or not. Rubies are not second strings. We always win first place. We are always the leading lady. Don’t settle for anything less. To do so, causes you to lose in the end.
Pursuing one who fails to see your worth and beauty by means of manipulation and force doesn’t yield the greatest of results. If you have to force and manipulate the situation, what kind of relationship would that yield? If you somehow win the individual over in this manner, what tone are you setting for the relationship? What tone could you potentially be setting for the marriage? Will you have to always initiate what you desire in that particular relationship? Is that an issue that he has? There is a lot to consider.
Wait for the one that sees YOU because God pointed you out. He said to your man, “Yep, that’s her,” and he came for you. It will be as God shined a light on you and lead him straight to you. There will be a mutual attraction and it won’t be one sided.
I want my love story to be one in which people hear the story and say, “Wow..that was God.” “HE truly wrote your story.” I want them to look at us and see God’s power and love. To see the beauty when two individuals who passionately pursue Christ come together and what amazing things can manifest as a result. To find hope and be encouraged. To see that when you do things his way he blesses it.
I don’t want it to be a story of, “Well it started with me having to post on his Facebook page three times a day. I also had to show up at his job every week, just to keep me in his mind. I had to change my hair color, get contacts and learn to play piano to get his attention. And oh yeah…I also had to constantly email, call and keep the communication going..or else he wouldn’t contact me, But I finally got him…I finally got him. No, that’s not cute. Not saying it can’t work…..but that’s not what I’m looking for.
So in conclusion, if you find yourself in a situation in which you are in the friend zone, confused zone, or no zone, thinking you are in a zone, please release this issue to the Father. He is the lover of your soul and has your hearts best interest in mind. He desires that you have what you deserve, but can only give you that once you release these issues to him. Don’t be afraid to let go of the idea of being in a relationship with someone who is not showing the interest you seek. Who knows, it could be hindering him allowing someone else to enter. If your focus is so fixated on a man who really isn’t even studying you, who knows what you could be missing out on. Know when to let it go if all signs, including God is saying, “He ain’t it honey”.
And sometimes they may be the one, but the timing is just off. I’ve heard of stories in which a particular individual wasn’t responding to an individual’s interest because God put the brakes on the situation for whatever reason. If it’s meant to be it will manifest in God’s timing. This is where relationship with God is key. You have to stay close so you can hear his instructions and guidance. What’s for you is for you, but you have to know it’s for you.
If you release your interest in someone to God and still nothing happens. Still Praise God! It simply means he wants you to have the one best fit for YOU. The other guy may be as amazing as you know them to be, but simply not be your best fit. Be thankful that God loves you enough to allow you to only settle for his Best, your One.
So I encourage us all to stay prayerful, be discerning, and never settle. There is a man who is tailor made for you and that will be MORE than you ever could imagine or think of in your own mind. Trust the creator of you both! Trust the one who knows you both more than anyone and desires to bring you together for his glory! I love you all and Many Blessings!