Hello Hello! As always I am so excited to share today. It’s been a rather refreshing day! Refreshing in that I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection and as a result I’m feeling restored, renewed and all that good stuff. So get ready, get ready!
Today I will be discussing the idea of finding your equal whole as opposed to finding your better half. Now, I know we often hear spouses referred to as one’s better half. And like most people, because it sounded like a good thing, I went along with the idea. But as I begin to study more and learn more about God’s purpose regarding relationships, that term no longer sat all that well with me.
Here recently I came across a pastor who was also challenging the idea of a better half and it was very eye opening. I feel it is in God’s best interest, as well as our own, that we seek to find our equal whole. What does that mean you might ask? It means don’t seek for one who you think will complete you. Christ completes you. Christ did not create you as a half person. In Christ we are whole.
The idea that we need someone to complete us makes it appear as we are a bunch of half individuals who in order to walk in their purpose and calling, must connect with their better half. So are we somewhat stagnant until we meet the “ONE”? What about those who are called to a life of singleness? Does that mean that they are and will always be a half person? We are complete in Christ, and it is my belief that we limit ourselves and we limit God when we feel we must have a significant other to complete us.
If we are feeling incomplete that is a surefire sign that our relationship with Christ is not what it should be. In Christ there is fullness of joy. There is love. There is peace. Everything we have need of can be found in him. Yes, those who are called to marry will have the desire for companionship. And that desire can be rather strong at times. Trust the lady, I know. But we must not confuse that desire as needing someone to complete us. If you are not already whole and content in singleness, what makes you think it will all change once you find the one? Sorry loves, it just doesn’t work that way. We must depend on Christ to complete us before we can fully embrace and understand the inner workings of a relationship.
It is in our best interest to work towards being a whole and healed individual. One who is in love with Jesus. One who is in right relationship with Jesus. One who has found him to be the source of everything that you have need of. When we get to that place, God can trust us with his best. He doesn’t want us to drain “The One”, because we are expecting them to fill a void only he can. And that is what would happen if we were not in rightful relationship with Christ. We place unrealistic expectations on individuals when we don’t understand it is Christ who completes us, not man.
So many singles are questioning why it’s taking so long. They are wondering if they missed their opportunity. Am I called to be single forever? So many questions arise when we don’t understand God’s timing. Are you whole? Are you healed from past events? Have you dealt with that issue God has been talking to you about? There are things that God is cultivating and maturing in us. And if it appears that it’s taking a while, then maybe one should do a little self examination. Are we being obedient? Are we listening when God informs us of the areas in which we need to grow and mature? Are we trusting him? Do we fully trust that he has our best interest in mind or are we trying to predict his moves. Do we feel like we need to help him out a little bit? I’m guilty of that one. And you better believe he has gotten me all the way together in that area. NO more trying to figure stuff out. You got it Lord. I surrender!
Sometimes we may not be able to pinpoint why God has us waiting. We may feel as if we are ready to receive the one. But trust and believe if we are still waiting, it is for our best. And we will thank him for it. He is preparing us and our spouse, and he knows what he is doing. Count it all joy that he cares so much about your future that he won’t allow you to make premature moves. He won’t allow just anyone to occupy your space. He is hiding you until the time is right. Only the One will have access to your heart. You are special to him! Called to greatness! And you should feel proud that you are not allowing counterfeits to fool you. He will bless you for this!
So instead of pleading and begging God to speed up the process, use that energy to humbly ask him, “Father, what areas do you want me to grow in?” Are there areas you want to touch? Ask him for clarity, discernment and most importantly contentment in him. Ask him how he desires for you to use this season of singleness. I have heard so many testimonies in which individuals took this approach and saw God move miraculously in this area of their lives. Once they finally laid this area at his feet, stopped being anxious, stopped trying to help God, stopped trying to figure it out, there they came.
God is going to bring the promise along when he knows the gift will be handled appropriately. He knows when we are ready. He loves us that much. How many of us can testify to stepping outside of God’s will and reaping some serious repercussions as a result? I’m not about that life. I learn quick!LOLOL Not interested in repeating any tough lessons. We must not lean upon our own understanding in our singleness. And we must not let our emotions steer us. Be Holy Spirit led. It’s our safe place.
In some cases you may know that someone is the one for you, but it just might not be the right timing. God won’t allow you to mess anything up. He knows the time that is best for you both. And he may be doing things that are necessary to your success as a couple. We just have to trust that Father knows best and pray for the strength to trust him even when it doesn’t make sense. Trust the process. This is why relationship with him is key. He will let you know when and he will connect all the dots and make it possible.
So back to the idea of an equal whole. I sort of went off into something else, but hey I go where he leads. What does an equal whole look like? An equal whole is simply an individual who understands their call to complement. Spouses are meant to complement one another, not complete one another. We are already complete in Christ. So when we complement someone, we are adding value to someone whom God has already completed. Now being complete has nothing to do with perfection. We are flawed individuals. But if we use our singleness as God intends, we will be equipped and empowered to handle this next season. Because we sat at his feet, prayed and allowed him to work on us, we are then spiritually, mentally and emotionally capable of adding value to someone.
When two whole equal individuals come together, the results are dynamic. There will be something inside of the one that God has for you that will be a great complement to your vision and purpose. And your spirits will connect and you will know. You will identify very easily with the one that’s meant for you. I have heard it explained by others as a feeling as if you have always known one another. You just connect. You see yourself in them, and vice versa. Sounds beautiful. Just the idea that you can meet someone, connect in that manner and feel like they have always been there amazes me. Sounds like something only God could bring about. As a matter of fact, it is something only God could create. That’s definitely worth waiting for.
So in your singleness strengthen your relationship with God. That is key. That is the glue that holds everything together. If that is solid in both individuals, they come equipped with the right components Because God will guide, lead and instruct them. Instead of baggage from past hurts, pride or whatever else, they come with a strong, solid foundation in Christ. They come whole and ready to complement the one God has for them. Again I repeat, in no way does this equate perfection. We are human, and we are flawed. But with God, discernment, wisdom and applying what he teaches, we are ready to be a complement to the one God has for us.
Wait for your equal whole. Continue to work on being whole. Continue to operate in your purpose. Continue to allow God to strengthen you and cause you to be who he has called you to be. And when he brings your “ONE” you will be ready. There’s nothing more traumatic than not being ready. You want to be ready! So get ready! Your “ONE” is depending on YOU. Love you all! Many Blessings!