Greetings Loved Ones! Happy Thursday! I can not believe I missed Transparent Tuesday! Totally got my days mixed up. So I’m just going to pretend it’s Tuesday. And you guys can pretend right along with me. There you have it, problem solved.
So as you know I have set Tuesday’s aside to share my own personal journey as a single. It’s a day in which you have the opportunity to peek into my life a bit and see what this gal is up to. It is my desire to share the many ways God is causing me to grow and how I am choosing to use this time as an opportunity to draw closer to Christ as well as become the best me I can be.
I have to be honest, there was definitely no issue with lack of writing material for this week. The last few days have been quite eventful. There have been so many thoughts, occurrences, and moments, that it’s truly hard to pick just one. Yet, I have decided to share about the challenges I faced this holiday season.
I am aware that the holiday season can be a little rough for some singles. You are bombarded with commercials showing happy families sharing gifts, infectious laughter and everybody appearing to be having a grand ole’ time. Even more, you have the social media platforms that are full of couples engaging in “holiday things”, sharing pics and things of that nature. And if you are not careful one can really get caught up in their feelings.
I’ve never been one to get hung up on whether or not I had a man to share the holidays with. I made it a point to make it memorable and special regardless of the circumstances. So it’s not an issue I can say I have previously struggled with. Even in that, I can truly see how one could get easily caught up in the emotional aspect of it all. Let me explain why.
This holiday season was a bit challenging. It was rough because my babies were not with me during a majority of this holiday season. They are spending time with their Father and I have NEVER been away from them during the holidays. I was so happy that they had the opportunity to spend time with him. And I know it was a blessing to him for them to spend the holidays with him. That brought me joy. I am grateful that the kids are able to spend time with both of us, but none of that helped the fact that I was missing them so much. The house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I missed hearing “Mama” a million times a day, I missed the cuddles, the hugs, our talks and just having them there.
The first couple of days they were gone were the toughest. Anyone who really knows me know that I am a woman who enjoys making holidays, significant days or just any day memorable. I really make it a priority to create memories that last a lifetime and to bring joy to those in my life.
Normally during this time we would be sipping on homemade cocoa, watching movies, rocking our matching pj’s, reading, making crafts, playing board games and whatever else popped in my mind. Don’t judge me. Yes, I really do all of that. Call me cheesy, but that’s me. Ha! My Mom was big on family and creating memories, and the apple truly doesn’t fall too far from the tree in that regard. Those memories are still so vivid in my mind, and I want my kids to be blessed with the same beautiful memories as we were afforded.
But this year…aside from squeezing in decorating our home and making a gingerbread house before they left for their Dad’s, none of the other usual activities took place. For the first time in a long time, I felt rather alone.
Pretty sure I don’t even have to tell y’all what thoughts came creeping up in my mind. Yep! When the house is super quiet, you are alone, and you’re missing your babies…..your mind can go left really fast. You find yourself thinking stuff like, Wow…do you realize you are alone during the holidays? You have never been alone during this time. Wouldn’t it be so awesome to have someone to share this time with? Someone to talk to about how you are feeling right now. Someone to hold you and tell you it was going to be okay. You shouldn’t be alone during this time. My mind was on the verge of throwing a major pity party!
But I knew I had to shut all those thoughts down immediately. I knew that I was feeling down because I was missing the kids and it was their first time away from me during this time. I knew the enemy would just love to play off of those emotions to get me in a downtrodden state. He was bringing up stuff that previously wasn’t even an issue for me. I wasn’t having it. God had brought me to a place in which I FULLY trusted him and where I was in my life. I was feeling stronger than I ever had, and I was really content with my life and what God was doing.
I wasn’t alone! Nor am I ever alone. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Your God, the Lord himself, will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.” God has promised to never fail or abandon those whom serve him. We can rest assured that he will keep his promise to never fail or abandon us. If that doesn’t bring peace, I don’t know what will.
God was not about to allow me to waste another day down. I think it was literally only two days before I was like, “Nope, I refuse to spend another day thinking about what I’m not doing or what I could be doing.” God made his presence so strong during this time. As soon as I reached out to him, he changed EVERYTHING. He was there waiting for me to call out to him and he answered swiftly! I immediately made it a point to pray more, spend time with the Father more and to focus on how I could use this time productively. I watched speakers who shared the same vision as mine and were operating successfully within them. I read articles and books pertaining to my goals and vision. I worked on projects and ideas he has placed within me.
Clinging to God has brought so much growth during this time. I am so overwhelmed with how he is always there for me. He is such a faithful, loving and redeeming God. He is my everything and he has truly carried me during this season. His words of encouragement, his affirmation, his guidance and his instruction has made all the difference. I am so grateful to serve such an awesome God. And I’m truly loving who I am in him.
Singles, don’t allow this holiday Season to play on your emotions. If you find that they are getting to you, do as I did. Increase your prayer time. Study more. Stay focused on the vision God has set before you and do things that move you forward. Stay focused on becoming the best you. Continue to prepare for his gift. I have witnessed way too many people make hasty decisions as a result of them falling victim to the idea of having to have someone for the holidays. It’s quite silly when you think about it. It’s not worth it. You are worth more than that.
Applying the previously mentioned methods truly work. Once I realized where my mind was going, and made the necessary adjustments, this time alone became a blessing in disguise. This time was needed and has been very fruitful! It’s all about perspective. Let God change your perspective on things. I had no idea that he would use this time the way he did. But HE Knew! He has imparted so much and I know without a doubt it was all part of his plan. I know he is causing me to become the best me I can be. I know that he set these days aside to release some things, to strengthen me and to build my faith.
So if you find yourself feeling alone, the first thing you need to establish is the fact that you are NOT alone. God is there and he is waiting for you to allow him to change your perspective. See it as God desiring to have you all to himself. You are that amazing, that special that he desires to impart some things, share some things, and have you sit at his feet and listen with no distractions. You would be surprised at how much he reveals once you let go of your feelings about being alone or single. He has some things to say. And he has special instructions that you only receive once you still yourself, sit at his feet and hear what the Father has to say.
It is imperative that you learn to be content in him. Don’t worry yourself crazy about what you don’t have. Because being in a relationship does not bring you true contentment as you might think. Relationship with God is where true contentment is found. True contentment enables you to view your relationship as Christ desires. It causes you to have realistic expectations of one another. And it assists you in knowing how to serve Christ together. It’s such a waste to not use this season of singleness productively. Get the focus off of what you don’t have, and focus on what you do have and how you are to use that in this season.
Don’t you realize he wants to bless you with the ONE. But more than that, he desires that you be prepared, equipped and ready. No parent gives a child a gift they feel they are not mature enough to handle or take care of. Why would God Almighty give us the ONE prematurely? We are his creation. We are precious to him and it matters to him how we handle one another. It’s not merely about finding the one so we can be happy. Fullness of Joy is found in God. Godly relationships are about serving Christ together. It’s about sharing a vision, goals and understanding that Godly relationships should be symbolic of his love for the church. They carry out a divine purpose and shape the course of our future. It’s one of the biggest decisions we make in life and one should not allow emotions to cause them to jump into anything prematurely. We must use wisdom and discernment.
So be of good cheer! See this time of Singleness as training ground. You know you’re close! Just take a moment and examine all the growth. See how God has drawn you closer to him. See how he has caused you to be truly content in him. See how things that you prayed about have manifest. Think of how you have made moves towards the vision God has given you. Think about character traits that God has strengthened. I encourage you to even take note of things God has purged and caused to no longer be a part of who you are. That’s a sure sign that you are close. So very close!!!
You have been faithful, you have trusted and you have not settled. God will bless you for that. When you think about it from this perspective, it makes it seem rather silly that we would allow ourselves to get hung up over superficial feelings or things we don’t currently have. He has given so much already! Be encouraged! He has so much in store for you! I love you! Many Blessings!